Using Stuff I Learned in College (Heaven is on Mars)

Whew!  So I know it's been a good country minute since I've been on here.  I also know you Fanz of the Lulziez are chomping at the bit for a new blog post from me.  I aim to misbehave please.  Due to a few things like work, meetings, and a myriad of other things I've been unable to post, but I've back and let's kick this off!

Yeah, I put off a blog post to finish this game.  Spoiler: Not worth it

So, without further ado: Heaven is on Mars. 

We're going to use some logic statements to help prove my hypothesis.  You know, the whole "If A and B then C" thing.  We'll take each of them one at a time and then summarize them at the end.  It's almost like I'm a real debater.  One might say...a Master Debater.

First, though, some information I need to let you guys know about.  Starkids is a theatre group from the University of Michigan.  They have done such live-action plays as A Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel and Me & My Dick.  So, ya' know, a classy bunch.  Here's their website.  They're awesome and I suggest you visit their youtube channel and watch their plays. 


A random blog is pimping our stuff!  Tallyhawk...I mean Rumbleroar!

 So, enough free advertising.  In one of their plays, Draco Malfoy (played by Lauren Lopez) mocks Harry by saying that he's going to transfer to Pigfarts, a better Wizarding Institute than Hogwarts that's on Mars. 



Lauren Lopez as Draco Malfoy

 Draco then goes on to talk about the professors at Pigfarts.  There's Professor McGonagill (a fish) and Headmaster Rumbleroar ("He's a lion...who can talk").

This was Rumbleroar's 2nd grade photo.

So the givens: Pigfarts is on Mars and Headmaster Rumbleroar is a lion...who can talk.

Next, Narnia is ruled  by Aslan.  Aslan, for those people who haven't seen the films or the millions of parodies out there (all 8 of you), is a lion...who can talk.

So, If Rumbleroar is a talking lion and Aslan is a talking lion then Aslan is Rumbleroar. 

Also, If Narnia is Heaven and it's ruled by Rumbleroar then Narnia is on Mars.

And, If Narnia is on Mars and Pigfarts is on Mars then we all get to be wizards in Heaven.

So, in summary, Heaven is on Mars.  But I'm not quite done yet.

Corollary: You can get to Heaven by climbing inside of a closet. 

Second Corollary: If Heaven is on Mars and Rumbleroar rules Heaven then Rumbleroar is God.


"Gaze upon my adorableness."

As always, if you liked this, let me know and tell your friends.  If you didn't like it, let me know (constructive criticism please) and tell your friends who might like this.