Pirates Are Cooler Than Ninjas

A lot of people are going to filibuster about how ninjas are better than pirates, but they are all sorts of wrong.  It is a well known fact that pirates are superior to ninjas in every area of competition. 

First, pirates have wenchs.  Sorry, ninjas.  Pirates have wenchs and wenchs are awesome. 

Second, have you ever heard of an "Sky Ninja"?  Thats beause they do not exist.  However, Sky Pirates do exist and they are categorically awesome. 

                                                                                

Left: Sky Pirate.  Right: Sky Ninja (does not exist)

Sky Pirates also have airships, and not the stupid zeppelin kind, super-cool kinds that are baller. 

Above: Sky Pirate Airships

If he could have, Teddy Roosevelt would have been a pirate.  I can practically hear you asking for proof.  Well, here it is: Teddy Roosevelt is awesome and by definition, he would have been a pirate...for Liberty.

"Ninjas are better?  Bah-hahaha!"

And finally, the nail-in-the-coffin argument that pirates are better: There is a genre of music called Pirate Metal.  Check out this link to video by Alestorm and try to admit that it didn't blow your balls all over the ceiling.  http://youtu.be/ggyC0FOzqHM

You can't, can you?  That's because Pirate Metal is amazing!

That is three stone-solid reasons that pirates are cooler than ninjas.